The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
