Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
