This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
we should paint friendship bongs
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