The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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