she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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