Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
