New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
