Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
