This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
