she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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