just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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