whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
