Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
