my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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