This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The maid of honor just puked.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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