i think my tv is drunk
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
