Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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