spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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