You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
