as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
