Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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