i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just invented taco cereal.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
