I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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