why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
