the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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