Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
