Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Watching her eat just hurts me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
