Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
