remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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