So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
