This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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