i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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