Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize