is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
