Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Shame is for Republicans.
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