Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
