Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize