i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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