K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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