that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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