I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
