You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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