sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
