I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
