my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
