I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So apparently I’m into choking now
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
