Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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