I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize