I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
