omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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