i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
