Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
