Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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