we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
