Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
