It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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