Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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