Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
