You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
