The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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