Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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