I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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