I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ladies don't puke and tell
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
