Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Acid is not a monday night drug
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
